candy corn is the worst

I am going to preemptively apologize for a potential lack of posting over the next 30 days. I’ve decided to get on the NaNoWriMo train this year, which means I’m saying ‘so long’ to what little free time I had and [hopefully] ‘hello’ to a 50,000-word, 175-page novel. If you want to know more or participate, visit It’s quite the undertaking, but I’ll do my best to keep you feeling important…

So hopefully, you got a lot of trick-or-treaters this weekend. My favorite part of Halloween is the littluns who show up between 4 and 6 p.m. because they’re precious and incredibly grateful for each sugar-laden piece that gets dropped in their pumpkin-shaped buckets. What’s simultaneously the best and worst thing about Halloween, though, is all the leftover candy. I’ll get a post up later this week about some fantastic leftover candy cookies, but in the meantime, here’s a quick, incredibly easy way to use up that crappy candy corn you’ll otherwise having sitting in a bowl somewhere for the next six weeks.

Kudos to this recipe poster for being ambitious with this treat, but if you’re lazy and/or unwilling to spend money on this like I am, you can make my unattractive — but still delicious — version.  Not surprisingly, this gets pretty sticky. Recipe makes about 10 huge balls. Go ahead and giggle.

♦5 c. popcorn, cooked
1 c. candy corn (or however much you’ve got left)
1/2 c. butter
3 c. marshmallows

Set popcorn and candy corn in a big bowl. Melt butter in saucepan over medium heat. Add in marshmallow and stir ’til melted. Pour mixture over popcorn and candy corn, mix about until completely covered and break up into balls. Place on wax paper and let sit for 10-15 minutes.

Apparently, Brach’s sells enough candy corn each year to circle the earth 4.25 times if the kernels were laid end to end. That makes me sick. If you’re looking for a more sophisticated (or intoxicating) use for this holiday staple, check out the candy corn cordial, with candy-infused vodka.

Total time? Less than 10 minutes prep; 10-15 sit.
Cost? $1 for bag of candy corn, 25¢ bag of popcorn, $1 bag of marshmallows.
Overall success relative to expectations? 4 out of 10. At first, I proclaimed these better than rice krispie treats, but after a few bites, I reneged. While the popcorn gives it a nice salty taste, it also makes it a little too chewy for my taste. Nevertheless, if you love sugary things, these will surely give you plenty of happy cavities. Again, I really didn’t follow the directions to make them look like something you’d want to eat, but because we’re in post-Halloween mode, you should probably care less about presentation and more about disposing of that horrid candy corn.


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