I attempted to make doughnuts. It didn’t go well. If it’s any indication, the shoddy “cooling rack” made of wire shelving and soup cans (seen below) was the best thing to come out of this. It was basically the biggest, greasiest, uncooked ball of slop ever created. Even the ones that looked okay on the outside were revolting on the inside. I was so defeated, I didn’t return to the kitchen for a few hours. Unfortunately, in that time, the uncooked doughnut dough sat uncovered on the counter, taking on a life of its own — festering, if you will. I was later told it smelled like something too appalling to scribe on my PG-13 site. Just know this didn’t go well. And I have a newfound respect for the “Time to Make the Doughnuts” Man.